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  • marlienligtenberg

This is why you don't know what you want

Do you overthink a lot? Do you often wonder: what do I really want? You feel a lack of clarity. Here is why. You do know what you want. You have options that spark enthusiasm. And joy. But your brain immediately comes up alarming thoughts.

  • But what if this is not possible?

  • But how will I be 100% sure that this is perfect?

  • But if I choose A, I will miss out on B...’

These objections are rooted in fear Even though you might not be very aware of that, these things happen subconsciously. Our brain is incredibly fast in coming up with the ‘yes, but.’ The desire and the fear all get mixed up. There is no clear distinction between them. You can't feel the joy, and you can't feel the fear. That is why your answer is every time: ARGH, I JUST DON'T KNOW! This is very normal human behavior. Our brain is protecting us from risks. Our thoughts mainly focus on what we might lose. Social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister discovered that our brain reacts more intensely to pain than pleasure. So it’s understandable that our brain wants to keep us away from potential disappointments. What can you do about this? For decision making it helps to understand our emotional motivators. Often we stay at the rational pro’s and con’s level. But as humans we are mainly driven by emotions. So it helps to learn:

  • What thought is based on fear?

  • What thought is desire?

How does this help? When you have a complete picture of your motivations, you can make better decisions. If the fear is on the table, you can decide: what do I want to do with that? Do I want to listen to that, or do I want to follow my desire? It does make your choice more conscious. And that brings relief, clarity and rest.


Free webinar: how to decide what you want You have a hard time deciding about things. You overthink a lot. About your relationship, your current job or that one project. Do I go for it? Or not? You don't know! Is this you:

  • You have a list with the pro's and con's of your options already. But that doesn't help for a final decision.

  • One day you feel this. The other day, you feel that. It is so tiring.

  • You are repeating the same thoughts. But every time your conclusion is: I Just Don't Know!

  • You feel anxious and restless; you want to decide! But something feels stuck.

In a free webinar I will give you tools how to decide. You will explore why you are stuck, what helps you to unstuck and how to make choices that give rest. The result is relief and the headspace to take action! When:

  • Tuesday the 25th of April - 6:30 PM London / 7:30 PM Amsterdam

  • Saturday the 6th of May - 09:30 AM London / 10:30 AM Amsterdam

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