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  • marlienligtenberg

How to stop pleasing. 5 tips.

Is this you?

You made a planning for you day. You want to finish certain tasks. But then:

  • A request from a colleague comes in. You say yes. But it actually does not fit in your schedule.

  • Your mother calls. You don’t have time. But you pick up. The conversations takes longer then you want.

  • Then your partner comes home early. He/she wants to talk about their day. You stop working and listen. But actually you wanted to finish a to-do.

You say yes because you don't want to disappoint people.

And I don’t know about you, but if I follow these distractions it Drives. Me. Crazy. I am not fully present in the conversation with that person. And I am mad at myself that I did not finish what I planned. That is such a massive lose-lose situation. That is why I do things more on my own terms.

How to do things more on your own terms? Here are 5 tips:

  1. The first one is a question. What would it bring you if you are satisfied with what you get done at the end of the day? Without distractions from people who ask for your time?

  2. Another question. Ask yourself: ‘’What do I want?’’ Do this three times a day.

  3. Think ahead. What is your ideal day? What if a request from someone pops up. What are you going to do?

  4. Communicate your needs. For example: ‘Look, Mom, I want to catch up with you. I don’t have time right now, I want to finish work. What if I call you at 8 PM?’

  5. Try it out. You don’t do things on your own terms because you are afraid to disappoint people. That disappointment is 95% of the time in your own head. Just try these steps out. People will understand more than you think!

What step are you going to try out?

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