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  • marlienligtenberg

How to become decisive

How quick do you make decisions? I can doubt a lot about decisions. They can be big, like what study or job. But also on a daily basis: how to prioritize my tasks in the best way? What to eat for lunch? I overthink because I want to think myself to certainty. And 100% certainty doesn't exist. Why we overthink Maybe you notice the same in your life. You overthink a lot. But you lack action. And this brings fatigue. The same thoughts over and over again: it is draining! But our brain has a few very good reasons to do this:

  • We are loss averse. So if we want to change jobs for example, we focus more on what we can lose, then what we can gain. Reason: our brain is designed to keep us comfy and safe.

  • Overthinking gives us the illusion of being busy. At least you can say you are thinking about it! So our brain tricks us in the feeling of: 'I am handling it.' But actually, you are not handling anything. Because you don't take action. Reason: our brain prefers sticking to overthinking then actually doing the scary thing of taking a leap.

  • We want to avoid shame. What if you switch jobs and it is a disappointment? That would be embarrassing to tell friends. Our brain only focuses on the possibility of shame. And therefore: keeps us indecisive. Reason: we want to avoid shame so much, that staying on the fence is more comfortable.

The price of living with a handbrake on When in overthinking mode we know for sure our brain is working! Doing it's job to keep us safe. So there is nothing wrong with that. What you can do, is think about the results of it in your life. Staying on the fence with choices prevents you from a fulfilling life. We stay on the surface because we want to avoid shitty feelings. But we can't suppress only the negative, scary feelings. If you stay away from that, you automatically stay away from joy, excitement and fulfillment. It's an all-in-one package. If you want to live a full live, you have to change the way you think. When you can't decide, there is a big chance you think 'all or nothing.' One choice will be The Best en will make Me Happy Forever. This thought keeps us stuck, because it's not true. There are no right or wrong choices. There are choices that brings you what you like in one go. Or there are choices that bring you a lesson. And with that lesson, you can again decide what you want. So the choice itself doesn't matter so much. You gain something anyway. What can it bring you to change your perspective on choices?


Free webinar: how to decide what you want.

You have a hard time deciding about things. You overthink a lot. About your relationship, your current job or that one project. Do I go for it? Or not? You don't know! Is this you:

  • You have a list with the pro's and con's of your options already. But that doesn't help for a final decision.

  • One day you feel this. The other day, you feel that. It is so tiring.

  • You are repeating the same thoughts. But every time your conclusion is: I Just Don't Know!

  • You feel anxious and restless; you want to decide! But something feels stuck.

In a free webinar I will give you tools how to decide. You will explore why you are stuck, what helps you to unstuck and how to make choices that give rest. The result is relief and the headspace to take action!


  • Wednesday the 19th of April - 11 AM London / 12 PM Amsterdam

  • Tuesday the 25th of April - 6:30 PM London / 7:30 PM Amsterdam

  • Saturday the 6th of May - 09:30 AM London / 10:30 AM Amsterdam

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